My latest painting is at the archivist now getting scanned. Next step is waiting for it to get done before I color match the file and prepare limited edition prints. This waiting process is torturous, but I've come to enjoy the lull.
The next wooden panel is on the easel waiting for some more love. To be honest,I intended to jump into it and be prolific but my mind isn't quite into it yet. I think after the last big one I need a bit of a break. Sometimes it's important to give those creative juices time to stock up.
I'm listening to three audiobooks this week, one of which is me re-listening to Men are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. (If you haven't read or listened to that, you're missing out). I heard a very interesting part at the gym yesterday about how men in particular are like rubber bands with our intimacy. We pull away only to spring back when we're ready.
Author John Gray describes how men generallyhave an uncontrollable urges (and need) to pull away in relationships. We need space. We need to be in our cave. This isn't something predictable or negatively intentioned, we just sometimes need space. In much the same way that women generally need socialization and talking to work out problems and evaluate life, we need alone time.
Listening to Your Intuition
I find that I fight against these generalizations as a man. I hate being pegged as a stereotype. I think as a society, especially nowadays, we try to deny the differences between the genders and sexes. There's a time and a place for that and validity in all of that but some differences are just differences and that's that.
Anyway, what I found interesting in this whole section of the book was that art to me, is sort of a relationship. I look at my art with love and passion. I fight with it. We disagree. We have different ideas and opinions and strengths and weaknesses. And we need each other. I have to treat my art with respect and nurturing this relationship, just as a marriage and any friendship or relationship needs attention and awareness.
In this case, even though I really want to paint every day, some days, some weeks, I just need space.
That's just the way it is.
Sure, I, and we can force ourselves into the practice and ritual of our craft. Doing our ‘thing' every day may even result in more work. I'd argue though that this isn't always best. I think it's important to listen to that intuitive wisdom from within us. I say as much as possible, balance the internal knowing with the external desires.
In my case, I needed a week off from thinking about painting. I needed to catch up on emails and spend more time with my family and work on some chapters of my book.
Going back to the author's analogy here, like an elastic band, I feel myself bouncing back with full or increased even strength and momentum.
So over the next few days, it's back to the brushes I go.
I have found my groove. It's taken me years to feel like I had an actual ‘voice' with my writing. At this point, I've written hundreds of thousands of words, most of which have been trashed. Even though I have written the quantity of words that could have amounted to four books at this point, what's left is the best of the best and I'm really loving the process of working with my editor over the past month.